My Legacy

I was asked to speak in church today. I prepared what I thought would be a great talk. I was sure that I was spiritually mature enough to speak just like they do in General Conference. In my mind, it was going to be the best talk I have ever given. I knew it would be the last time I spoke in our ward, and I wanted to leave a powerful testimony that they would all remember me by for years to come. This was my last chance to leave my legacy.

Well......

I obviously forgot that humility is important. I haven't spoken in church for years and it's really not that easy. I chose a topic that is very near and dear to heart, that of being a mother and raising children with a testimony of Jesus Christ. Then, the worst part of all, was standing in front of a chapel full of people that I love. They have shaped my life. We have laughed together and cried together. I have loved them and served them with all of my heart and soul. There they all sat before me with smiles on their faces. Every person I looked at I felt an outpouring of love and sadness to be leaving. My "I'm not going to cry attitude" lasted all of 2 seconds. Things went down hill from there. My talk was so unorganized. I don't think I made any sense at all. I left out major details of the point I was trying to make. It was not powerful, it was disastrous. I didn't really talk, I just stood in front of everyone and cried for 20 minutes. It was nothing like what I had planned.

Aaron spoke after me. He didn't shed one tear (I shed enough for the both of us). He did a great job and bore a powerful testimony.

We asked the boys to take notes on what we said, mainly just to keep them busy while we were both on the stand. After church, Esteban said he couldn't really take notes on what I said because I mostly just muttered. Ethan pointed out to me that I used like 10 tissues (that's really no exaggeration). I am so humiliated and horrified whenever I think about it. Aaron said it was fine, but I get the feeling he is just trying to be a loving and supportive spouse. My only consolation is that we will be moving soon and hopefully the ward forgets "my legacy" soon.

I learned an important lesson. Pride is never a good thing.