Called to Serve

Today was a hard day! I remember the first Sunday after Este left was hard for me as well. Today I missed Ethan so much! I waited for him to walk through the door after church. I thought about him all day long.  I wondered if his meetings were in English or in Spanish. I wished I could be a fly on the wall and watch him all day every day while he is in the MTC. I cried through the opening hymn in Young Women's. It was the hymn Called to Serve. I tried not to do the "ugly cry" even though I felt like sobbing. Because I was trying not to do the ugly cry it probably became the "uglier" cry. Oh well, I couldn't help it at the time

Later in the evening Elder Langi and Elder Witkowski came over for dinner. They are the missionaries that are serving in our ward. They are some of my favorite missionaries of ALL time! They teach with the Spirit and they are obedient. I know the Lord will bless them as they serve in this area.

Missionaries are amazing! I love the missionaries serving near and far. I know the Lord loves them too. Today was hard but it was also good as I had a chance to understand more fully what it means to be "Called to Serve."

Ponder

At the end of the "Christmas Story" in the Bible we read:

 Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

I remember several Christmas' ago when I was pregnant with Savanah at this time of year. I pondered a lot that year with a new understanding of what Mary went through. I know there is no way I can understand what it was really like for her to bring forth the Son of God but, in a small, simple way I used my imagination. I knew what it was like to be uncomfortable. I knew that at the end of a pregnancy it is difficult to sit, stand, eat, sleep, and even breathe. I can't imagine riding a donkey 80 miles in that condition. I can't imagine leaving the comforts of home to travel to the land of my ancestors to pay taxes to a government forced on my people. While I gave birth in a sterile hospital with doctors, nurses, and all the comforts of modern medicine. Mary gave birth in a stable.

That year as I pondered Christmas, I knew the miracle of birth. I held my own new born babe. I pondered the birth of Christ. It will always be one of my favorite Christmas'

The tiny baby I held that year has grown into a beautiful young woman.  She just turned 11 years old. I thank God every day that she came to me. I love seeing her discoever her talents and abilities. I love her deeply.

Fast forward to this year. It has been another year of pondering. You see, this is my last Christmas with my family all living under one roof. This is it. I keep telling myself that life will go on. There will be more Christmas' to come and they will only get better with eventual daughter-in-laws and grandchildren but for now, this is the last year that I will draw all of my children close and see them and hug them.  It is the last childhood Christmas for Esteban. 

Este leaves on a mission for our church sometime this summer after he graduates from high school. We don't know where he will be going. We do not get to choose. For the next two years the only contact we will have with him will be a weekly email, a phone call on Mother's Day, and a phone call on Christmas. Ethan will leave on his mission the next summer. AJ will leave in two summers after that.  It will be almost six years before we are together again for Christmas. The thought of it breaks my heart. 

Yet, I know how important this opportunity will be for my sons to leave on their missions. They will leave as boys. They will come back as men. They will have two years of their life to devote to God. They will leave the things of the world behind and study, serve, and learn of the things that matter most. They will find themselves in service to God and learn to love him as well as to love others as themselves. I can't wait to hear about the experiences they will have.

And so I want this to be the "perfect" Christmas. We have had offers to go to parties on Christmas Eve. We have numerous friends and neighbors that we could invite over to celebrate with but, this year it will just be us. Just Aaron and I and our five children. 

In my mind, I picture us all sitting around the table in our Sunday best, using perfect manners, eating a gourmet fest, and talking of profound gospel truths. I am bracing myself for the reality: we will be wearing sweats, dinner will be late, and we will be talking football. They all better still use perfect manners!

No matter what this Christmas turns out to be, it will be one that I will always remember. I have pondered so much this Christmas not only on birth of Christ but, the life of Christ. He showed us how to manage the road. He is the way, the truth, and the life . He taught us by His example and His teachings the path to return to Him someday. He suffered for our sins. He suffered for my sins. I get busy and distracted. I fall short in so many ways. I make wrong decisions. I sometimes follow my head more than my heart. I need His grace every single day. I want to be more like my Savior. I have a long way to go but, He is ever patient and  loving. I am grateful for the intimate relationship that I have with my Redeemer. There are times when I get busy in my daily life. I sometimes forget Him more that I should yet, Jesus Christ is always there. Waiting. Loving. I commit once again to do better.

So, we will see what the next few days bring. We will see what the next few years bring. I am sure they will fall short of being perfect and I am ok with that. This I do know, I will keep these things and ponder them in my heart. 

Feeding the Missionaries

We had the missionaries over for dinner last week. With their area covering 37 wards , the opportunity to have them in our home won't come very often.

In Texas, we had 6-8 missionaries and a set of senior missionaries just in our ward. We fed the missionaries almost weekly. My favorite was when we would have the missionaries and the people they were teaching over for dinner and a discussion. I figured they ate rice and beans all the time. For a change of pace, I would make a nice big casserole and a jello salad.

I think the missionaries up here probably eat enough casseroles so, this time we ate chips & salsa, tortillas, enchiladas, rice, beans, and tres leches cake. The problem is, one Elder was from Scotland and the other one was from Canada. They seemed to like it even though they didn't know anything about Mexican food. Hopefully it doesn't turn into one of those "On my mission, I had to eat....." stories.