Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day! Mine has been wonderful!! Aaron and the kids made me my favorite breakfast, breakfast burritos. I don't make them often because they require a lot of work and dirty dishes. The Bishopric handed out chocolate at church. Weeks before when Aaron asked what they should give to the mothers at church, I told him we did not want a music CD that we would never listen to, a book we would never read, a flower or plant that would die. We wanted chocolate. I apologize if any women feel differently. I probably should not have spoken for the entire congregation but I did, and I enjoyed the chocolate. Calories do not count on Mother's Day any way. Which also explains the chocolate covered strawberries in the fridge.

After church I took a nap in the sunshine curled up on a deck chair fully dressed in the backyard. (Those tan lines are going to look great!) I spent the evening forcing my family to play Ticket to Ride, my favorite board game.  I won 2 out 3 games. Mike and Melanie walked over to our house with all their babies. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

Aaron's grandmother hated Mother's Day. She did not enjoy going to church hearing about all the wonderful things mothers did as she felt like she wasn't living up to par. My heart goes out to all the women whose hearts hurt today. Those whose children are wayward. Those who are alone. Childless. Widowed. Depressed. Inadequate. Unmarried. Stressed. Overworked. Under appreciated. I just want to say you are enough. You are perfect just being you. The world needs you. Each and every one of you. Just as you are. There is beauty all around and it is found in every face and heart and person on the earth.

I have been thinking a lot about motherhood lately.  I have been thinking about the women I know who have lost their mother. They can't call their mom on the phone and tell them how much they love them and appreciate them. I will think of them as I call my mom. I will tell her all the things they are unable to tell their own mothers today.

I will tell my mom that I love her for just being her. I really do love my mom. I love all of my mom. I love her example of someone who always tried to be better.  She never claimed to be the perfect mother.  She had a terrible childhood and fought her way through it. She stopped the chains of abuse for which I can never repay her. I will tell her that I will always be grateful for that.

I will tell her that she is enough. I have been surrounded by women who volunteer in every school, do every craft, sews their kids clothes, and build furniture in the garage. Their house is always clean and their kids are always dressed in coordinating outfits. They help their husband run his business. They earn money on the side to help provide for their family and yet they don't skip a beat in nurturing their children.  They have it all and they do it all. I think that is great! It just doesn't work for me. I can only do what I can only do. I see so many women struggle. Why? Why can you have a room full of talented, educated, good hearted women that all feel alone? Why do we strive for this ideal that seems so far out of reach? I am grateful that I have learned that what I have to give is simply enough.

I will tell my mom that I am grateful that she taught me to improve. I know that we continually progess as long as we are willing to accept the Savior and choose to progress. Recently I felt a connection to my maternal grandmother who died 20 years ago. I felt the peace that she has finally come to know. I felt the love that she has for me. She was not a perfect mother. She had to learn and grow and overcome. Her progression did not end in this life. Nor will mine. My mom always wanted me to be a better  mother than she was. I know that I am not a perfect mother. I know I am giving my kids baggage they will carry for the rest of their life. I am ok with that. I am grateful for the knowledge that the Savior loves each of us. He will help us overcome all that lays before us and also what lays behind us. I am grateful that He still loves me even when I still have so much room for improvement. He does not expect me to be perfect. He loves me for just being me and I as grateful for that.