Changes

On February 6th, Aaron became a statistic. He joined the thousands of people who have lost their job. Yeah, not the statistic you want to join. The unemployment rate suddenly had a very familiar face to it.

Aaron did accounting and controlling for a commercial roofing company in Salt Lake. He had made it through two rounds of lay offs. The company had money saved in case of a rainy day. Things looked okay. Then January came. The company took a huge loss. Let's just say, it wasn't just a rainy day, it was an all-out hurricane. Aaron turned the numbers into the owner with the recommendation that the owner cut more jobs knowing his own job was on the chopping block.

He called me that day to let me know. Since he had access to the company's computers and financials he was finished that day. They gave him one month severance pay which allowed us to keep health insurance for the month. I felt physically sick. I felt like I was emotionally suffocating. It was constantly on my mind for days. When I saw a man standing on the side of the road with a "Will Work for Food" sign I wondered if that would be me in a few months. The fact that we have five kids to feed and a mortgage was keeping me up at night. Our food storage and savings brought some comfort. Recent purchases (new flat screen TV for Christmas) did not not bring comfort.

Then my heart started to change. We decided the worst case scenario was to declare bankruptcy and foreclose on the house. We would find a house to rent or move in with our parents. My mom was quite excited about the prospects of this one. I didn't have the heart to tell her this is not what we are aiming for. Anyway, I think her enthusiasm would last all of three hours if really did move back. The bank could take our house and cars (What they do with the braces if you default on the payments? I'm just wondering). No bank in the world can take away my family. With my family still intact it doesn't matter where we live. I figured if the worst case scenario is just loosing the house, then there are worse things our there. I was grateful we weren't dealing with infidelity, death, drugs, abuse, or cancer. We walked into a store shortly after this happened behind man who's son had died. I don't know, but I figure he would trade places with us. I would rather loose a job than a child.

I've learned a lot about faith. I realized one day that we can't know the future or we wouldn't ever learn to rely on faith. Isn't that the reason we are here? I remembered a talk in Conference (see new quote on sidebar). I reminded myself constantly that faith and fear cannot coexist. I chose faith. Not only have I learned a lot about faith, I have learned a lot about humility. People have been very generous and helpful. It is humbling to allow people to help. I thought my prayers were sincere before but, after my recent prayers, I realized the previous ones were probably lacking. I grew up in the church. I have blessed every meal I have ever eaten in my entire life. For the first time probably ever, when I blessed the food recently and thanked Heavenly Father for the food, I really meant it. I know we'll be okay. I just don't know how or where we'll be okay.

There are some positives. I like having him around more. He has been going to school, traveling, or doing church callings for years. I keep trying to remind myself that he can't stay home forever. Aaron finished his MBA (Masters of Business Administration) three weeks after loosing his job. His former employer had paid for the degree. That opened doors and gave us more options.

I'm happy to report that he starts a new job tomorrow. Amazing, I know, it is a blessing and a tender mercy. It shows me that the Lord knows where each of us are at that moment. He knows what we need even better than we know ourselves. He will provide. He always has and He always will. Aaron was hired to be a financial analyst with a local wholesaler. I think it will be a great job for him. He won't have to commute! No more of the crazy long days. The only problem is that initially the pay will be considerably lower than what he used to make. He also picked up a job on the side doing bookkeeping for a spinal reconstruction company. He has a few more leads to follow.

Our life changes once again. We will still have to make some hard decisions (do I start working full time or do we try to sell the house) but I know everything will still be okay. I know the Lord will guide us to do what is best for our family. Change is just a part of life. It is taking the step into the darkness that is the hardest and yet always when we look back it was the right step to take. That's just how life is supposed to be.