The soccer season is now upon us. Esteban's team moved up at the state level to Division 1. They had to travel 2 1/2 hours to their first two games. They lost both. Last Saturday was the first home game of the season. They were up by two mid-way through the second half when the other team scored twice. The game ended in a tie. In soccer, there is no overtime unless they are playing in a tournament where there has to be a winner. For this game, the final remains a tie. It felt like a loss.
Even though he had played hard, Este hadn't scored all season. He felt horrible after the game on Saturday. He felt like it was all his fault. He blamed himself for the fact that they've struggled thus far in the season. He was so sad, deep down sad.
It was precisely at that moment that I realized he wasn't a little boy anymore. When he was little, I'd just pull him up into my lap, hold him tight, and hug away the pain. This time I had no choice but to sit back and watch him hurt. It was devastating! I don't know which one of us was more depressed.
I also realized this is not the first time he will be sad, there will be times when he hurts even more, and I know that this pales in comparison to what other people deal with, but for me, as a mother, it was the first time that I realized how much he has grown. The days of holding him in my lap are gone. (He is significantly taller than I am so, it just wouldn't work logistically.) My little boy is growing up. Until now, I didn't realize how much heartache is in that statement.
They played again the other night, against the #1 team in their division, a team that has beat them three times in tournament play. Este's team won and he snapped his scoring slump. Another lesson learned: Life does get better if we only hang on.
6 comments:
Yay!! Este's team won!! Thats great!! Way to go!!
Great post. It is sad when they grow up. I know one day my boys will not be so little and I won't be able to hold and love them when they are sad.
Glad they won~ He is a great boy...
I'm glad his team won and that he ended his scoring slump. It's always a great day when they can smile and hold their head up.
I support forcing kids onto your lap no matter how big they get..
It's funny you posted this because I was just thinking about how much less I hug on Jesse since he's bigger-- and it makes me wanna go squeeze him right NOW!(I'm sure he'll appreciate your pushing the matter..)
Colette, I love your perspective. Thanks for sharing. So glad Este broke his slump. And what a team to do it on!! :)
I'm morning with you!! It is so sad when our boys grow up. Zak is so close he still lets me hug him it's a requirement but when he is upset he hides and won't let me consul him either.. Why do they have to grow up?
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